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SMS Greetings

☻BLINKING STARS
FreNz r 4-evER liKE E starS taT kePt blinkin In E sky. THoUgh we MighT b Far Apart.. BUt I noE taT u r Still Near 2 Me WhnEveR I look up… Gd nite N sleep TiTE

☻ TIME TO SLEEP
LyinG oN mY BeD, LoOkiN @ ThE CloCk, I nOe tAt iTs timE 2 zzz. I WonDeR HoW hAv U bEEn todaY… HopE Tat EveryTHinG is FInE.. WiSh u sweeT dReaMz n Sleep TiGhT!

☻ MORNING GREETING
Morning greetings doesn’t only mean saying Gd Morning, it has asilent message saying: I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!

☻ MORNING GIFT
Receive my simple gift of ‘GOOD MORNING’ wrapped with sincerity, tied with care and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care!

☻ GOOD MORNING
A night hug warms the heart, a night kiss brightens the day, and a good morning to start your day!

☻ NITE HAS END…Nite has end for another day, morning has come in a special way. May you smile like the sunny rays and leaves your worries at the blue blue bay.
 

☻ THINGS TO NOTE B4 SLEEPING
ThinGs 2 TaKe NoTe WheN u SleeP: 1st-MiSS Me, 2nd-ThInk oF Me, 3rd-HuG Me, 4th-LoVE mE. TrY 2 SlEEp NoW & ClOSe Ur EyeS. Get PrePaReD 2 DrEaM oF mE! Gd NiTe!
 

☻ HELLO
The Word ‘Hello’ means H=How R U? E=Everything all right? L=Like 2 hear 4rm U. L=Love 2 C U soon. O=Obviously, I miss you!

☻: I PRAY 4 YOU
In tis lovely nite, I pray 2 the blue moon 2 protect U thru the nite, the wind 2 blow away ur stress N the twinkle stars 2 guide U the way, sweet dreams Gd Nite

☻ GOOD MORNING
The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good morning, hoping that you have the perfect day. Take care & miss you.

☻ NO MATTER
No matter the sky is black or blue, no matter there’s stars or moon, as long as ur heart is true, sweet dreams will always be wif u. Gd Nite!
 

☻ TIME 4 BED
da starz r out, da moon is up, 1 more HUG, 1 more smile, KISS u once, KISS u twice, now itz time 4 bed. Close ur @@, n sleep tite!

☻ I CARE MOST
I was looking out the windows thinking about the person I care most & the person that came into my mind is U so juz wanna wish u good nite…….

☻ STARS LIGHT
Stars light Stars bright u’re the only Star I see tonite. I wish I may. I wish I might be there guarding ur dreams tonite, gd nite sweet dreams

☻ NICE FRIENDS
A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams…

☻ WASH UP
Wash your face and wash your feet! Now itz time 2 fall asleep. Yours eyes are weak N mouth can’t speak so hope tis nite shall b nice and sweet. Good Nite.

☻ COLD COLD NITE
On this cold cold nite,in My small small rOOm,i Look At The Brite Brite StArS iN tHe DaRk DaRk sKy & DrEaM of uR sWeet sWeet SmiLe on ur CuTe CuTe FaCe! GdNiTe!

☻ WINDOWS OF SOUL
Tireness draws across the mind making the body fade flexibility n soon windows of soul begin 2 close N enter the dreamland! OYASUMINASAI! Sweet Dreams!

☻SOUL BACK FROM DREAMLAND
Your soul came back from dreamland reunited with a sleeping senseless piece of yourself slowly open ur eyes realise its a brand new day. Good Morning.

☻ DRACULA KISS
As u go 2 bed 2nite, I ordered bats 2 guard u tight. I told some ghosts to dance in white, & 2 make sure u r alryt, i’LL ask dracula 2 kiss ur neck goodnight..

☻ LAZY BONE WAKE UP!
The sun has once brought brightness to earth! lazy bone. it’s time 2 wake up gd morning…

☻ AS NITE FALLS
As nite falls upon the land, it is time 2 Zz again. With the moon hangin in the starlit sky, i’m here 2 wish U NiteNite! Sweet dreams, cover blanket tight tight

☻ THE SUN HAD RISED
The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..

☻ SOMEWHERE OUT THERE
somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone thinkin of u somewhere out there where dreams come true… nitenite & sweet dreams 2 u

☻ MASTER OF PUPPETS

Master of puppets is pulling ur strings, twisting ur mind n smashing ur dreams. blinded by me, u can’t c a thing when i count to 3 u shall fall asleep 1,2,3,Zzz

Q & A Jokes
 

☻Q. WHAT DO YOU CALL A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHERE HER HUSBAND IS EVERY NIGHT?

A. WIDOW

☻Q. WHY AMERICANS STOP PRINTING STAMPS WITH PHOTO OF PAMEELA ANDERSON?

A. COZ PEOPLE STARTED LICKING THE WRONG SIDE OF IT FOR PASTING THEM ON THE ENVELOPES.
☻Q. WHAT DOES 98 STAND FOR IN WINDOWS 98?

A. IT STANDS FOR NUMBER OF TIMES IT HANGS IN A DAY.

☻Q. WHY DID BANTA SINGH TAKE HIS PREGNANT WIFE TO PIZZA CORNER?

A. FOR FREE DELIVERY.

☻Q. WHY DID SANTA SING TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES WHILE WRITING EXAMS?

A. COZ IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE PAPER”ANSWER IN BRIEF.

☻Q. WHAT IS THE HEIGHT OF LAZINESS?

A. A COUPLE ADOPTING A CHILD.

☻Q. WHAT IS THE HEIGHT OF POSSESSIVENESS?

a. constiPATION.

☻Q. HOW WOULD YOU IDENTIFY BANTA SINGH IN A SUBMARINE?

A. HE WILL BE THE ONLY ONE WITH A PARACHUTE TIED TO HIS BACK.

☻q. what would you call a sardar with just one hair on his head?

a. iqbal singh.

☻Q. HOW TO MAKE TTK LAUGH ON SUNDAY?

A. BY TELLING HER A JOKE ON THURSDAY.

ONCE A NUN GOES FOR A URINE EXAMINATION AND THE SAMPLES GET MIXED UP. the report indicates she is pregnant. WHEN SHE GETS THE REPORT, SHE EXCLAIMS, “OH JESUS!! NOW WE CAN NOT EVEN RELY ON CANDLES”

☻Q. WHAT DID BANTA SINGH SAY WHEN HE SAW A BANANA PEEL?

A. “OH! I AM GOING TO SLIP AGAIN.

☻Wot’s the best thing about babies ?
MAKING THEM !

☻If i guard you with my life,
Will u be my wife ?

☻Girls are like roads,
More the curves,
More the dangerous they are.

☻Love is Photogenic,
it needs darkness to develop.

☻Messages are given to
Those who are apart
But what shall i give
When you are in my heart.

☻Q. WHICH IS THE SHORTEST JOKE?

A. SANTA SINGH AND BANTA SINGH PLAYING CHESS.

☻Q. WHICH BROTHER OF KALIDAS MAKES SHOES?

A. ADIDAS

What If SMS Msgs

☻if ur askin if id hurt u da ansa is nevaif ur askin if i luv u da ansa is 4eva.if ur askin if i want u da ansa is i do.if ur askin wot i value most da ansa is u

☻If luvs a disease den im very ill.but i dont want medicine i wont take no pill.i will suffer dis illness cos it makes me see exactly how much u mean 2 me!

☻If i were a tear in ur eye i wood roll down onto ur lips.But if u were a tear in my eye i wood never cry as i wood be afraid 2 lose u!

☻If Love & Friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks & Shares.those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires!!!
☻If water was a kiss id send u the sea.if a hug was 1 leaf id send u a tree if luv were forever id send u eternity!
☻If i rote ur name in d sky wind wood blow it away.if i rote ur name in d sea waves wood wash it away.But ur name is engravd in my heart where nothin can touch it!

☻if u love me like u told me please be careful wiv my heart- u can take it jus dont break it or my world will fall appart

☻If a kiss was a raindrop i’d send u showers.if a hug was a second i’d send u hours.if a smile was water i’d send u a sea.if love was a person i’d send u me!

Police Jokes as SMS

☻i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom

☻I’m @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

☻im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me “possession of good looks”.i’m doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!
 

Clinton Jokes SMS

☻Q : Why does Clinton wish he was like Ted Kennedy?
A : Cause Kennedy has an ex-wife and a dead girlfriend

☻Q : How does Bill keep Monica Lewinsky away from the White House?
A : He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride

☻Q : What did Clinton say to Gore about the whole affair?
A : Pardon me

☻News item: Mike McCurry, the President s Press Secretary, has just resigned. He could no longer keep a straight face
☻Q : What was yesterday’s Washington Post Headline?
A : Bush Beats Clinton

☻Q : Why was Monica Lewinsky transferred from the White House to the Pentagon?
A : She was traded for two brunettes and a redhead to be named later.

☻”One thing’s for sure about Clinton…
He sure doesn’t neglect domestic affairs!”

Animal Jokes

☻Q : What do stylish frogs wear?
A : Jumpsuits!

☻Q : What did the frog order at McDonald’s?
A : French flies and a diet Croak

☻Q : How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
A : Unhoppy

☻Q : What goes, 99-thump, 99-thump, 99-thump &
A : A centipede with a wooden leg

☻Doctor, I can t stop behaving like a dog.
How long have you been acting this way?
Since I was a puppy!

☻Two snakes meet each other..
First snake:I hope I am not poisonous.
Second snake:Why?
First snake:Because I bit my lip!

☻Q : What do you get from a pampered cow?
A : Spoiled milk.

☻What kind of work does a weak cat do?
A : Light mouse work

☻Q : How do you identify a bald eagle?
A : All his feathers are combed over to one side

☻How do you circumcise a whale?
A : You need at least four skin divers
☻When geese fly in a “V”, why is one side longer?
Because there are more geese on that side

☻Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work

☻What did the turkey say to the chicken?
Gobble gobble

☻Why do hens lay eggs?
If they dropped them, they’d break

☻Which side of the chicken has he most feathers?
The outside

Wrong Person Messages

☻I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!

☻This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

☻Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed …oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!
☻I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION

☻Those innocent eyes… Those kissable lips… A great smile… The perfect walk… Smoothest talk… Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u?

☻You’re Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In fact you’re becoming more like me everyday!
☻Uve got sex appeal.uve got style.uve got intelligence.uve got class.uve got the face & uve got the body & ive got the wrong number!

☻Ure so sexy u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh damn im sorry i have the wrong number

Reason Why Jokes

☻REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN 1)dogs obey wen u shout at dem 2)dogs dont shop 3)u can giv away ur dogs children 4)any guy can get a good lookin dog!

☻3 REASONS Y CATS R BETTER DAN MEN 1)cats luv u wotever u look like 2)u can stroke a cat wivout it thinkin about sex 3)u dont mind wen ur cat chases after birds!

☻Y MEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)dey r useless until u turn dem on 2)dey have lots of data but r still clueless 3)as soon as u pick 1 a better model cums on the market!

☻Y WOMEN R LIKE COMPUTERS 1)no one really understands dem 2)all ur mistakes r stored in their memory 3)u find urself spendin all ur money on accessories for dem!

☻Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantly full of crap

☻5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains ur car! 2)but still work right? 3)r u cold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!

Pick Up Lines
☻The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.

☻There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.

☻Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone
you’ve never met and say, “Come on, we’re leaving.”

☻You see my friend over there? He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.

☻You know, you’re very easy on the eyes…and very hard on my erection.

☻Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes?

☻Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?

☻You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk
off in your shadow.

☻Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain’t 3.5 inches and it sure ain’t floppy.

☻What’s a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?

☻Will you be my Xmas cracker? I’d really like to pull you.

☻Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

☻You are a 9.999. Well, you’d be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

☻You’re good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a perfect square?

☻Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you got the nicest set of buns I’ve ever saw.

☻Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

☻Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

☻Baicarumba…are those real?

☻Be unique and different, just say yes.

☻Can I flirt with you?

(more…)

Word Play SMS

☻Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder oh dat reminds me can u remind me wot the reminder was ive forgot!

☻Im not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get

☻Last night i wanted to send u a msg, but all i could write was: “noh ss!w !”. it didn’t make much sense until i read it upside down…

☻MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS
START WITH MEN??

☻A)Ur Attractive B)Ur Buff C)Ur Charmin D)Ur Delicious E)Ur Excitin F)Ur Funny G)Ur Gorgeous H)Ur Heavenly
I)Im J)Just K)Kiddin L)Loser!

☻HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press down* HOW TO KEEP AN IDIOT ENTERTAINED *press up*

☻Wot letters r missin in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & u get a heart!if u pick U,u will get hurt! I’d pick U coz
it’s better to get hurt than have a heart without U!

☻if u notice this notice you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing!!!

☻I have the “I”.I have the “L”.I have the “O”.I have the “V”.I have the “E”… so pls
☻Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!!

☻Hello!Im a little alien called Ted.I have taken the form of a mobile phone- your phone.And during this
message I have been having sex with your thumb!

☻This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat!
NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!